Plotting With the Rival
by FAIRYPRINCESS13
Summary: Lily and James do not get along very well. But what happens when James and lily want revenge on the same person? Well put their differences aside and combine forces of course!
1. Where Conflicts Start

**Plotting With the Rival****  
  
Disclaimer: Yes me! I own Harry Potter! Sorry, I was still in my favorite dream...but who knows? Someday...in the far far future...I just might own Harry Potter.  
  
Summary: Lily and James do not get along very well. But what happens when James and lily want revenge on the same person? Well put their differences aside and combine forces of course!  
  
A/N: For the sake of making the story better, we'll pretend that Peter is one of them...not dorky and stupid, and Remus not so depressing. O and don't forget to review!**  
  
Chapter 1 – Where Conflicts Start  
  
"James!" Sirius Black screamed happily as he gave his best friend a death like hug "It's been such a LONG time since we last saw each other. HOW ARE YOU?"  
  
By now, half the people on the platform are staring incredulously at the child-like 16 year-old.  
  
"I missed YOU so much too! And it has been such a LONG time! Imagine...ONE WHOLE WEEK!!" James Potter screamed back, voice soaked in sarcasm.  
  
"I KNOW!" Sirius replied, obviously not catching on.  
  
"My lord, Padfoot old friend, how slow can you get?!?"  
  
"Hey why does everyone say that? –Gasp- are you saying you were LYING?!? You DIDN'T miss me...sniffle...you know what? FINE I'm going to talk to my HONEST friends." Sirius said, sounding hurt. "Oy, REMUS! It's been such a- - "  
  
James was still staring after him shaking his head when a shrill voice made him wince.  
  
"Hi James! How was your summer?" A blonde preppy girl stood behind him, all the while smiling with a mouth full of blinding teeth.  
  
"Oh, uh h-hi Roxanne." James managed to stutter with fear while dodging as the girl, Roxanne, tried to hug him.  
  
"So, the last year was so much fun! What wild things should we do this year?" Roxanne chattered on as she clutched James's arm, dragging him toward her friends.  
  
"Roxanne, don't you remember that conversation we had three month ago?" James said while trying to get out of her astoundingly strong grip.  
  
"What? Oh, you mean that long meaningful talk we had? That was so sweet!" Roxanne said dramatically.  
  
'What was wrong with the girl?' James thought inside his head. How could she call our post break up yelling match sweet?   
  
"Okay, if I wasn't clear enough before, WE'RE OVER...does that make any sense to you?" James cried.  
  
"James aren't you in a mood, but that's okay! I'm sure you'll be over it by dinner. See ya!" Roxanne replied as she bounded off to her plastic robot friends.  
  
"As your friend, I would like to recommend you to get rid of her...you know, as in break up with her." Sirius advised James, not at all sounding like his normal bubbly self.  
  
"Sirius, where've you been? James dumped her like a week before 5th year ended, she's just still clinging on like glue." Remus told Sirius.  
  
"Poor James, but I'd rather have a girl like that than what I have now...which is nothing," Peter commented lightly. But all this did not seem to improve James's mood.  
  
"How in the world am I going to get rid of her?" James wondered out loud.  
  
"We could always dump a truck load of bricks on her head so she'd forget everything," suggested Sirius, but of course, nobody took him seriously.  
  
"Well I think you should act uninterested and aloof around her from now on and maybe she'll take the hint," Remus added in.  
  
"NO WAY!" James yelled. "If I don't say anything she'll just keep talking to fill up the space and that's one thing I undeniably can't stand. Besides, she's like Sirius, so I doubt she'll take the hint, and I'd have to endure torture all this time."  
  
"Humph! I sense the hostility around here!" Sirius said with the hurt face. "I'll just go somewhere that I'm wanted."  
  
"Good luck finding a place like that..." Peter muttered, causing the other two to laugh.  
  
"You know, I think he means he's off to flirt with his beater friend, what's-her-name," Remus commented lightly.  
  
"Morgan Blakely," James immediately responded. Seeing their questioning looks, he added, "When you're as popular as I am, you would know every girl's name too. Besides, she smashed my brains in with her beater's club in 4th year when I called her an air head. I'm not likely to ever forget that...she's scarred me for life!" James wailed.  
  
"Come on; let's get a compartment before everywhere else is full." Peter said sensibly while dragging them on the train.  
  
"I'll meet you guys later, there's a 'brief' prefects meeting." Remus replied with doubt.  
  
"Wait! I just have to do this one last thing..." James yelled as Peter began dragging him away. Turning his head in Sirius and Morgan's direction, he smiled to himself when he saw Sirius talking animatedly with Morgan, who wore horrified expression on her face as she continued to stare at his head. "Hey Padfoot! Did I forget to mention that you have a cockroach on your head?"

* * *

"He thinks he can get rid of me that easy, well he's wrong!" Roxanne Summers said bitterly to her friend, Chelsea, who was staring intently at her like she was Queen of the World, but then again, when you have no life, that's the kind of person you gradually turn into.  
  
"Uh huh, you're right of course..." Chelsea agreed as Roxanne rambled on.  
  
"Embarrassing me like that for the second time...and right in front of my friends too! Well he's so not going to get away with it this time..."

* * *

"Bye Mum and Dad!" Lily Evans, a medium height red-head hugged her parents and ran through the barrier. Due to her dad's fascination with all magic things, they were slowed down quite a bit when he insisted to examine her friend Ashleigh's talking magic trunk. Needless to say, Lily and Ashleigh barely got on the train in time.  
  
"Sorry about that Ash." Lily said to her friend as they walked around trying to find their compartment.  
  
"It's alright Lily. Besides, I didn't want to disappoint your dad. Sometimes he acts just like my little brother." Ashleigh replied, laughing.  
  
"Well I've got a Prefect's meeting in...OH MY GOSH! NOW! See you in a few min. Ash!"

* * *

"Well that was sure interesting." Lily entered the compartment where her friends were sitting – Ashleigh Daniels; Elvira Anderson; and Morgan Blakely.  
  
"So who are the Heads?" Lily's friend, Andie asked.  
  
"Molly Prewitt and Arthur Weasley, they're so perfect together." Lily answered.  
  
And so they chatted for a bit; catching up on each other's summers; and planned what they were going to do this year.  
  
"Have any of you guys seen Roxanne?" Morgan asked. "I was going to look for her before Sirius Black started talking with lightning speed. Do you guys think he put a cockroach on his heads on purpose because he knew it would freak me out...?"  
  
"Forget Roxanne. She's been acting real weird ever since she started dating Potter. I think we should just erase her forever." Ashleigh cut in. "And Black? Who knows what goes through that boy's head."  
  
"I don't know...I mean Roxie and I used to be pretty good friends before all that Potter nonsense...maybe she'll come to her senses now that Potter's dumped her." Lily said doubtfully.  
  
At this moment, the compartment door opened with a bang. Narcissa Black, her sister Bellatrix, and their new friend Roxanne entered.  
  
Bellatrix, the ringleader of the three scrunched up her face with a look of disgust. "Blakely I expected to have better friends than dirty half-bloods like Daniels and Anderson. And the mudblood over there isn't even worth mentioning."  
  
"Since when are my friends a vital matter to you, Black?" Morgan said angrily. "And you'll never be half the witch Lily is. You're just jealous."  
  
"Right. Jealous." Narcissa said sharply before all three of them collapsed in laughter.  
  
"Why don't you get lost now? Go jump in a dumpster; you'll feel at home there." Lily snarled even though none of them presumably even knew what a dumpster is, except for Roxanne maybe.  
  
"You should watch yourself Evans. Not only because I'm definitely better than you, which is true, but because we know things about you and if you're not careful we might just let something slip; I'm sure the whole school would like to know things about you like a certain crush on your best enemy a few years ago." Narcissa certainly made everything clear, like usual.  
  
"W-who told you about that," Lily said shakily, trying to control her temper.  
  
"Why, our new friend of course. And I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate in telling us more." Now all three of them pasted on smirks, but Roxanne's wasn't first-rate, therefore making her face look very amusing.  
  
"Now girls, we've got better places to be, so later losers." Narcissa said while the three of them returned to a laughing fit and left.  
  
"Well that definitely cleared my mind of any doubts that a friendship with Roxanne could still exist." Lily said bitterly. In truth it did hurt a little, since she and Roxanne had been friends for almost 5 years. And she's never called her anything except for Roxie. "Girls I expect all of you to ignore her and totally not acknowledge the fact that she exists! A.k.a. never associate with her again."  
  
"YES SIR! OF COURSE SIR!" they all chanted.  
  
"Good. Betrayal deserves some payback I always say..." Lily mumbled on to herself.  
  
"Oh, but hey Lily," Ashleigh said slyly. "How come you've never told any of us about your crush on...oh most likely POTTER?  
  
"Oh...uh...about that..."  
  
That caught almost everyone's attention and this was what fun meant to them as they teased Lily mercilessly. Just as they were about to torture her for details, Lily hastily changed the subject.  
  
"Did you guys do that essay McCallahan assigned?"  
  
"Oh Jesus!! I totally forgot about that!" Andie screeched.  
  
"Me too!" Ashleigh agreed.  
  
"Hey Lily, let us copy yours. Pleeeeeeeeeeease!" Morgan begged for them all.  
  
"All right. On one condition. You guys stop talking about Potter alright? I DON'T like him anymore." Lily searched in her book bag. "Funny, I swore I stuck it right here next to my arithmancy book...and now it's gone!"  
  
"Think Lily, think! We can't live without that essay!" Andie cried.  
  
"Oh my God. You guys don't think it could've been Remus Lupin, do u? I mean, he was standing right next to me at the meeting..." Lily thought out loud. "I'm gonna go check."  
  
"Hey Morgan!" Andie said right after Lily left the compartment. "I'll bet you 10 galleons she'll come back mad and ready to rip Potter's head off."  
  
"Ooh I love bets! You're on!" (A/N: just in case anyone was confused; Andie is Elvira from her last name)

* * *

"Hey Remus, watcha got there?" James peered over Remus's shoulder, trying to see what his friend was crouching over.  
  
"Remember that essay Professor McCallahan assigned us?" Remus murmured.  
  
"Oh yeah that. I only did half of it...why do you have two?" Sirius replied. Catching the others funny look he continued. "Summer was so boring with my traumatized family I did some schoolwork."  
  
"Wow. Sirius. Work. Sirius. Work. Somehow those two just don't belong in the same sentence together," Peter said merrily. "I finished mine already, although I don't think I'll get a very high mark"  
  
"I completed it too...I'm just adding finishing touches to it with the help of Evan's paper. Nicked it from her at the Prefect's meeting..." Remus mumbled as he continued his work.  
  
"I'm shocked at all of your behavior! I didn't do it at all." James announced proudly. "However, since I do not want to be kicked out of advanced DADA now's a good time to do it I guess. Gimme that!" James finished as he lunged at Remus.  
  
"Come on! I need it more!"  
  
So begins the tugging and pulling. And of course, one measly sheet of parchment can't handle all that pressure, so it was torn to pieces. And what's the best time for Lily to enter the compartment except now?  
  
The compartment door was thrown open, and in it stood Lily Evans staring at her perfect paper torn up in James's hands, jaws scrapping the floor, also known as girl who's about to kill someone.  
  
Both James and Remus opened their mouths to speak—  
  
**A/N:  
  
I wasn't being very clear on character descriptions in the story, so I'm going to make up for that here. I'm not going to go too descriptive since everybody has their own version of these characters and I don't want to mess it up.  
  
James Potter: black hair, brown eyes, tall, glasses, Chaser; wants to be auror  
  
Sirius Black: black hair, blue eyes, tall, Beater; wants to play professional quidditch  
  
Remus Lupin: light brown hair, turquoise eyes, tall Wants to be a scientist/biologist/etc.  
  
Peter Pettigrew (did I spell his name right?): dirty blonde hair, light blue eyes, short Wants to work in the ministry  
  
Roxanne Summers: platinum blonde with white blonde highlights, brown eyes, medium height Queen of Prep, wants to be a millionaire  
  
Lily Evans: red hair, green eyes, medium height Wants to be an auror  
  
Ashleigh Daniels: shoulder length straight black hair, blue eyes, tall Wants to be an actress  
  
Elvira Anderson: strawberry blonde, dark blue eyes, short Wants to be a reporter  
  
Morgan Blakely: thin dark brown hair (almost always tied into ponytail...), honey eyes, short Beater, wants to be in ministry If any1 has any questions about the characters just review!! **


	2. Where James Falls from Greatness

Plotting With the Enemy  
  
Disclaimer: Yes me! I own Harry Potter! Sorry, I was still in my favorite dream...but who knows? Someday...in the far, far future...I just might own Harry Potter.  
  
Summary: Lily and James do not get along very well. But what happens when James and lily want revenge on the same person? Well put their differences aside and combine forces of course!  
  
A/N: For the sake of making the story better, we'll pretend that Peter is one of them...not dorky and stupid, and Remus not so depressing. O and don't forget to review!

* * *

Chapter 2 – Where James Falls from Greatness  
  
"IT WAS HIM!" both Remus and James yelled at the same time while pointing at each other.  
  
They stayed frozen like that for a whole minute then they all winced as Sirius attempted to shove Lily's jaw back in place.  
  
"Ooh, he shouldn't have done that," Peter whispered.  
  
"Potter you freak! Do you know how long it took me to write that?" Lily screamed.  
  
"Why do you always assume it's me?!? Open your eyes! It was Remus all along," James yelled back. It was so frustrating that the girl blamed him for everything.  
  
"Well you're the one that tore it up!" Lily did feel a little guilty, because he was right in a way. "What are you nodding for? You're next!" Lily turned to Remus who was nodding as if agreeing with her.  
  
People were crowding in the doorways and even started buying snacks to watch the show that was sure to occur, featuring the infamous fighting pair.  
  
"What are you looking at? Clear out!" Lily and James said together.  
  
"Well at least they agree on something for once," Sirius said sourly.  
  
"Potter, we'll discuss this later," Lily said softly. "Remus, give me your essay."  
  
Snatching his long roll of parchment Lily stormed off.

* * *

"So, Lily, how'd it go?" Andie asked sending meaningful glances to Morgan, who was looking very hopeful. "Usual. Potter is a prick. Strange that you even need to ask," Lily said. "They tore up my essay, so I just took Remus's; and he better hope he did good."  
  
"So, Lily, you must be pissed," Morgan asked, trying to sound nonchalant.  
  
"Nah, it was too amusing to see them flinch to be mad for too long," Lily said lightly. "But I bet they think I'm a real psycho."  
  
"YES! Andie this should teach you to bet with me," Morgan said happily.  
  
"Whatever," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "I've got an essay to copy."  
  
"Huh. Why not just keep Remus's?" Ashleigh asked.  
  
"Wow, I didn't even think of that! Yelling at Potter really takes a lot out of me," Lily replied.

* * *

"That girl is a real psycho!" Sirius said as he and Peter walked up the train, trying to find the food lady, as they call her.  
  
"First-class," Peter agreed. "I mean, it was just an essay..." "No...I think she just likes to have a reason to yell at James," Sirius said as his eyes lit up. "You don't think...nah, impossible..."  
  
"Sirius, you're so hopeless," Peter said exasperatedly. He was about to continue lecturing Sirius on the importance of keeping up a human image when he was distracted by food.  
  
When Sirius and Peter opened the door to their compartment, they were shocked to find James doing a victory dance, apparently very pleased with himself.  
  
"What happened? What did I miss?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I'm quidditch captain, I'm quidditch captain," James chanted joyously.  
  
"Wow, that really proves Johnston to be insane," Sirius said jokingly. "Wonder why you're surprised, we all knew it was going to be you."  
  
"You just can't let me have my moment, can you?" James replied.  
  
"Cut out the noise!" Remus yelled while trying to put Lily's essay together as if doing a puzzle. "I'm trying to piece together an essay and if you didn't notice, I'm running out of time. Huh...this should go here...and this..."  
  
"Relax, Remus," Sirius said, "Marauders don't do work...they find a geek to do it for them."  
  
"Why didn't anyone tell me this before?" Remus exclaimed.  
  
James shrugged. "We thought you knew," he said simply  
  
"We better change now," Peter reminded them.

* * *

"I need to get back at James, and you're going to help me," Roxanne informed her 'friend' Chelsea.  
  
"So what do you think we should do?" Chelsea questioned.  
  
"Haven't got a good idea yet," Roxanne said. "What do you think?"  
  
"Whatever you say is good I guess," Chelsea answered.  
  
"Oh my God, I have the perfect plan!" Roxanne exclaimed excitedly. "And I can include Evans in this too!"

* * *

In the great hall, the noise was thunderous, mainly because the heavy rain tempted the students to top its volume.  
  
"I wish they'd hurry up with the sorting," Lily complained, "I'm starving!"  
  
"Exactly," James said, sitting across from her. "Finally, someone who sees my point,"  
  
"Potter, you better hope Remus's paper is good enough to get me an O," Lily spat at James.  
  
"Why Lilykins," Sirius said, settling himself beside Morgan, "That was harsh...you know, I think there should be a rule that says all prefects must be polite to those with less brain cells."  
  
"How about I be really nice to you and give you detention?" Lily threatened.  
  
"That's what I can 'abusing your position'," James cut in lightly.  
  
"Shut up, Potter, I'm in my happy place." Lily replied, rocking back and forth in her seat.  
  
"What's in your happy place?" James inquired looking quite interested.  
  
"Well...for one thing you're not there," Lily said thoughtfully, "and Sirius was a bug that I squished."  
  
"How cold...and I was just trying to be nice." James said, obviously hurt.  
  
"How about you be nice to me by not talking?" Lily suggested.  
  
The sorting started, and everyone sitting around them looked relieved as they stopped arguing.  
  
After the sorting, Dumbledore stood up and said grandly, "I'm sure you are all hungry and tired of clapping your hands raw...so now let the eating begin!"  
  
For the first fifteen minutes or so, Lily barely touched her own food, occupied with first staring at James, then Sirius. She could not believe human beings could shove food down their throat as fast as they were doing...but then again, they can't really be considered genuine humans. Lily smiled vaguely and eventually started eating herself.  
  
After all the dishes were clean, Dumbledore stood up once more.  
  
"Students, the usual notices for the year are of course, the forbidden forest, hopefully will not receive any visits from you students, and due to a long research over the summer, Mr. Filch as added eight pages to his list of banned items inside the school...and outside," Dumbledore added, looking as if he did so solely for the Marauders.  
  
This year's head boy is Arthur Weasley, from Gryffindor! Dumbledore paused until the applause died down. And the head girl is Molly Prewitt, also of Gryffindor, at this, the noise the Gryffindors made nearly rivaled a hurricane, if not more.  
  
Also, this Halloween, we will be having a carnival of different events that the students may organize themselves. I suggest you start thinking about what you wish to do if obtaining a booth is in your best interest. We will also be hosting a prank contest...after many debates, and the ones who think up the best hoax will be allowed to take four friends and be allowed to attend the annual prank fest in Rome, Italy." Dumbledore finished.  
  
"I see some of you in the crowd already nodding off, so I will speak no more, off to bed with you!"  
  
People's thoughts about the prank contest   
  
The Gryffindors  
  
"Guess the competitions really just about the four of us," James commented to Sirius, Remus, and Peter.  
  
"Certainly," Sirius agreed.  
  
"Betcha ten galleons it's going to be me though," James said arrogantly.  
  
"James, you just wait, I am WAY better than you in this," Sirius said with confidence.  
  
The Hufflepuffs  
  
Girl 1 : James is going to win, I know it! Girl 2: Nu uh! Its so gonna be Sirius...he's way better than James... And so, a war of who was hotter, James or Sirius began.  
  
The Ravenclaws  
  
Boy 1: No doubt one of the Marauders are gonna win that thing. Boy 2: But hey! There are only four of them; they get to take one extra person! Boy 1: You're right! I'm going to try to be extra nice to them...  
  
The Slytherins  
  
Narcissa: We can't let potter win this thing! Bellatrix: Better him than our demented cousin...

* * *

"Can't wait to see the high and mighty James Potter fall tomorrow in front of everybody, Evans is just an added bonus," Roxanne whispered to Chelsea as they parted ways after returning from mixing a potion in the girls' bathroom.  
  
"Just how exactly are we going to make them take this?" Chelsea asked.  
  
"We'll come early and dump it in their cups," Roxanne answered. She rolled her eyes, sometimes hanging with Chelsea can be such work! "Don't worry about it; I know how to handle this."

* * *

"Lily! Lily, wake up!" Ashleigh shook Lily violently, "and on the first day too!"  
  
"I'm trying to sleep Petunia...ooh that's a pretty dress..."  
  
"Lily its Ashleigh and you can tell me all about your pretty dress tomorrow...I really wanna hear...now WAKE UP"  
  
"Why?" Lily demanded.  
  
"Because you're gonna be late for potions"  
  
"Ash, this better not be one of those times when you wake me up early and it's really a Saturday..." Lily mumbled as she got out of bed.

* * *

They were in the middle of breakfast when Roxanne Summers stood up and raised her goblet and said very loudly, "Yesterday I didn't get the chance to do this, but as of the moment, I would like to congratulate Molly and Arthur in being the new Heads!"  
  
Well, that seemed reasonable enough, so both Lily and James drank to that. What a horrible, horrible mistake that was.  
  
They both stood up against their wishes and made their way over to the Slytherins table before stopping in front of Snape.  
  
"Severus, can I have a word with you?" James asked in a voice most unlike his own.  
  
"Move Potter, I was here first," Lily said hostilely, "And I'm sure Severus would want to talk to me more."  
  
Is the world ending? Snape thought to himself.  
  
"Oh please, he goes around calling you a mudblood, I highly doubt he'd prefer you over me," James replied.  
  
"If you like him so much, then why are you always making his life a miserable mess?" Lily shot back.  
  
"That's just my weird way of showing affection, Evans," James responded.  
  
By now most of the hall was roaring with laughter, and Roxanne personally got on a table and bowed to take credit for this great prank even thought she knew it'd cost her a few detentions.  
  
But suddenly, everything had gone quiet. James Potter was kissing Severus Snape. Even Lily, under the potion was shocked. Sirius, Remus, and Peter, along with Lily's friends ran with rapid speed to drag their friends out of there.  
  
For the rest of the day, they stayed in the common room. As the potion started to wear off, James realized what he had done.  
  
"Crap! I can't believe I did that!" James wailed to Lily, "My whole reputation will be ruined! Ruined I tell you!  
  
"What I did doesn't seem so bad now. But I was on the verge of confessing my love to Snape right before you kissed him." Lily replied. "I'm gonna go kill myself, I'll see you in hell Evans," James said as he stalked off.  
  
"James you can't die! You have to keep living; for me!" Lily said full of concern.  
  
"Really? You really care?" James looked surprised but a strange warm feeling was spreading over him.  
  
"Of course! How could I make fun of you with this highly interesting information if you weren't alive?" Lily said, amused that he believed her.  
  
"Alright Evans, I'll stay alive for you sake; although you really are impossible." James answered.

* * *

"Okay, men, war is upon us, anyone got a good idea for a splendid payback?" James announced that night in the boy's dormitories.  
  
"But, James!" Peter complained, "We never prank girls."  
  
"We start now," James said, "Anyways, that evil sorry-excuse-for-a-person embarrassed us too bad to ignore."  
  
"You mean she embarrassed you," Remus reminded him.  
  
"We are one. Never thought I'd have to say this corny line, but I guess there's a time for everything," James replied, scratching his head, "Now back to the matter at hand."  
  
"Well sir," Sirius said quite critically, "Summer's friend currently resides here [Sirius points to a dot on the Marauder's Map], and if we skip sleeping tonight, we can ambush her and torture her for information about everything Summers afraid of, etc. etc."  
  
"Good job sergeant," James said approvingly, "We shall do that tomorrow night, since your leader is worn-out."  
  
"Since when are you the leader, James?" Remus inquired.  
  
"Since forever," James responded arrogantly, "You know you can't live without me."  
  
"We pretend." Peter said simply.

* * *

A/N: Thank you, my awesome reviewers!!! :D 


	3. Where They Make a Compromise

Plotting With the Enemy  
  
Disclaimer: Yes me! I own Harry Potter! Sorry, I was still in my favorite dream...but who knows? Someday...in the far, far future...I just might own Harry Potter.  
  
Summary: Lily and James do not get along very well. But what happens when James and lily want revenge on the same person? Well put their differences aside and combine forces of course!  
  
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time!!

Chapter 3 – Where They Make a Compromise  
  
"We are so not gonna let her get away with what she did to you, Lily," Andie announced.  
  
"Yeah..." They all murmured in agreement.  
  
Apparently, Lily had more helpful friends than James.  
  
"So what do ya'll wanna do to her?" Ashleigh asked gleefully, "It has to be phenomenal...something nobody's been able to pull off before..."  
  
"Let's wait awhile till we find the perfect payback," Morgan said.  
  
"You guys are sooooo great," Lily said as she pulled them all into a hug.

  
  
"Mr. Potter," Professor Filtwick said after James almost killed himself trying to do the bubble head charm, "I would like a word with you after class."  
  
"Uh-oh," Sirius whispered tauntingly.  
  
He walked up to Filtwick's desk as the rest of the class filed out.  
  
"You needed to speak with me professor?" James asked politely.  
  
"Mr. Potter," Professor Filtwick began, "I will say this bluntly, you are in great risk of losing your spot in the Advanced Charms program. So I suggest you find yourself a tutor and improve by the end of this month."  
  
"I'll try," James replied simply as he left the room to join his waiting friends.  
  
"What was that about?" Peter inquired, seeming very interested.  
  
"Filtwick says I need to improve or I'll be kicked out of Advanced Charms." James said miserably.  
  
"Sorry mate, can't help ya there," Peter said regretfully, "You know how bad I'm doing in that class.  
  
Sirius wiped an imaginary tear from his eye and said, "You know it's my sworn duty as a er...troublemaker that I try to do as little work as possible; but for you, I will try."  
  
"Erm, that's alright Sirius," James said uneasily, "I was hoping that Remus could help."  
  
Turning his head this way and that, James went on, "Speaking of Remus, where'd he disappear to?"  
  
"Probably hiding from you," Sirius commented, "Scared to death of being your tutor."  
  
"What? What's wrong with me?" James asked.  
  
"You mean you don't know?" Peter asked incredulously, "Padfoot, old friend, let's give him our list of all James's bad points," he announced grandly.  
  
Just as Sirius opened his mouth to speak, James cut in, "Save it. You guys have lists for too many things..."  
  
"But they do come in very handy, like that time..." Sirius rambled on while Peter nodded very vigorously beside him.

  
  
"Hey, do you guys know what Evan's first name is?" James asked as they walked to dinner.  
  
"I'm thinking..." Sirius said as he scrunched up his face and was obviously deep in concentration.  
  
"Isn't it Lisa or Lila or something?" Peter asked thoughtfully.  
  
"Yes, I would go with Lila if I were you," Sirius announced.  
  
"I dunno...Lisa sounds like the more 'studious' type," Remus said, adding his bit in.  
  
"This is sad," James admitted, "I've known and hated the girl for five years and I don't even know her first name...why do you think it's Lisa?"  
  
"Cause of the Simpsons," Remus answered, "Lisa is the nerdy one." "The what-what?" James asked uncertainly.  
  
"It's a muggle show that I am quite fond of..." Remus said.  
  
"I still say Lila," Sirius said, tring to be helpfully.  
  
"Whatever, I'm just going to do eenie meenie moe..." James said.  
  
"YOU FORGOT MINEE!" Sirius yelled, running around screaming. "What does it take for me to convince people to realize the importance of minie...??  
  
"Take a pill Sirius..." Both Remus and Peter muttered at the same time.  
  
"...moe AHA! Its Lila," James said proudly.  
  
"We didn't even ask yet," Peter said confused, "Since when is Evans's first name so important?"  
  
"Since I decided to beg her to teach me Charms," James answered without a hint of embarrassment.  
  
"You have got to be kidding," Sirius said in a hushed tone.  
  
"Nope," James said brightly.  
  
"But you'll ruin our whole image!" Sirius wailed, "We don't beg, and its Evans, we'll never live it down..."  
  
"Okay, Sirius, snap out of it, I'll bring the camera and you gather a crowd," Remus said quickly, taking action.  
  
"I get it," James said as he rolled his eyes, "I will ask politely and leave it at that."  
  
"I always knew he cared about my feelings," Sirius said, sniffing a bit.  
  
"Yeah Sirius...all for you," James said in a fake sensitive voice.

  
  
Lily saw James Potter walking towards her and she winced to herself, oh well, she's learned a long time ago how to block out Potter's voice.  
  
But hey; said her evil side; why don't we mess with Potter's head? Act nice!  
  
No, the nice side argued.  
  
But she didn't have anymore time to debate with herself so her evil side won.  
  
"HELLO JAMES DEAR!" Lily yelled in a scary voice. She could see that James was looking frightened yet a little relieved.  
  
"Hey Lila, can I talk to you for a minute?" James asked politely.  
  
"Wh-what?" Lily asked uncertainly. "Are you talking to me?"  
  
James mentally smacked himself...i should've gone with Lisa, he thought...  
  
"No! Well yes I'm talking to you, but I meant Lisa," James replied, trying to repair the damage while dragging her away.  
  
"Are you alright Potter?" Lily asked with almost genuine concern, "My name's Lily." She said she said, her words slow and distinct as if speaking to a mentally handicapped person.

"I knew that," James said sheepishly. "So I was uh...wondering if you'd...um...tutor me in charms." he finished hopefully.  
  
"Are you that desperate?" Lily asked confusion was written all over her face.  
  
James looked at her in disbelief, "You have seen me do the spell, right?"  
  
"Well I know that you're hopeless..."  
  
"So will you?" James asked, frustrated.  
  
"Nope," Lily said cheerily.  
  
"But why?" James whined.  
  
"Because you're the boy that didn't know my name," Lily answered, "And the fact that, if you forgot, I highly dislike you."  
  
"Well, isn't there a way to change your mind?" James said.  
  
"Sure! Give me one good reason."  
  
"Because I'm a fellow student trying to improve his studies?" James asked hopefully. He didn't even know what that line meant, but has seen it used successfully before...  
  
"Haha...no, not good enough," Lily said as she switched from laughter to a stony expression.  
  
"How about we make a trade?" James said reasonably, "I could say...clean your dorm for a week."  
  
"NO!" came three replies from behind a marble pillar.  
  
Lily laughed, "Well there's your answer."  
  
"Ok, what about me teaching you Transfiguration or something, and you help me in Charms."  
  
"No thanks, Remus is helping me," Lily said.  
  
_What?!?!? _James thought to himself, _he won't teach me, but teaching Evans is...[mental note: kill Remus...then you can dump the murder charges on...]  
_  
"Oh Potter..." Lily said, making James focus once again, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving, see ya around."

James racked his brain for ideas of how to get Lily to help him when he stumbled upon his answer a few days later.  
  
He was walking to Advanced DADA when a huge crowd in the middle of the hall caught his eye.  
  
"What happened here?" he asked the nearest person.  
  
"Narcissa Black and Roxanne Summers were talking bout Evans's muggle parents, and she just lost it! She turned them into headless and very deformed chickens..."  
  
"Well that's going to teach us not to mess with Evans," said a random voice from the crowd.  
  
"Ms. Evans!" Professor McGonagall said, seemingly surprised. With a flick of her wand, they all returned to normal. "That's a detention and fifty points from Gryffindor for each...of your creations."  
  
"Perfect," James smiled happily.

  
  
Lily stormed back to Gryffindor tower after her nightly patrols to find James the only person still up with a piece of parchment in front of him.  
  
"What are you doing still up Potter," Lily snarled. "Waiting," James replied, "Evans I have a proposition for you."  
  
"Yeah?" Lily said as she collapsed onto a chair, obviously exhausted.  
  
"I have recently noticed what a nasty temper you have," James continued, "and I would like to say, if you're interested I could give you anger management classes, plus showing you how to really annoy those er...what do you call them, people?"  
  
"How coul- "Lily managed to get out before James interrupted in a much louder voice, drowning out hers.  
  
"In exchange for you to teach me Charms, well? How about it?"  
  
"Whatever," Lily said. "What are you doing now?" She stared as James pulled out a long roll of parchment and scanned down it.  
  
"OK, great," James said happily, "And this is Sirius and Peter's list of translating Evans language into normal language."  
  
"Meet me in the library in two days after dinner," said Lily, "bring your wand, and your brain if you can find it."

  
  
"Supplies?"  
  
"Got them."  
  
"Everyone asleep?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okay, let's go."  
  
"Sirius what are you wearing," James asked as the four of them crept out of their dormitories.  
  
"Muggles burglars where them, what, does it make me look fat?" Sirius asked in a shrill whisper.  
  
"SHH!! Keep it down," Peter and Remus said at the same time.  
  
"And what's with the mask?" James continued.  
  
"Don't make fun of the mask," Sirius said menacingly, "It makes me feel commanding."  
  
"Oh yes, all hail the great gay bird," Remus said with mockery.  
  
"You just don't- OW!" Sirius yelled as Peter fell back into him when he tried unsuccessfully to go up the girls' staircase.  
  
"I didn't know we can't go up to the girls' dorms, no fair they get to up ours," Peter whined.  
  
"Come on, we have to figure a way up there, or all my efforts will be ruined! Ruined, I tell you..." James rambled on dramatically.  
  
"Amateurs," Sirius said, rolling his eyes, "You've got to _think _like a girl to get up there."  
  
"Like this?" James said as he demonstrated in a whisper, "I am Sirius Black, I looooooove the color pink, getting my nails done is like the most fun—"  
  
"Shut it," Sirius commanded from the top of the staircase.  
  
"Whoa, that was fast," Remus commented.  
  
"Okay, let's all try," Peter said in a much more serious voice.  
  
Their thoughts  
  
_James:  
  
This is gay, no wonder Sirius got up there so fast...ooh there's candy on the ground...no FOCUS! Okay...um...  
  
Remus:  
  
I like dolls...well actually they scare me, cause I know when I fall asleep they'll be planning to murder me...they look so innocent, but there's...  
  
Peter:  
  
Shopping is good...if there's no shopping then there's cool clothes, if there's no cool clothes then I'd be sad...if I'm sad then I might die...if I die...  
  
_Twenty minutes later, they finally made it up there.  
  
Pushing open the door they found that it was pitch black.  
  
"Hey, I see a banana!" Sirius exclaimed, reaching for it.  
  
"Don't touch--" James tried to warn him...but too late. [A/N: I was originally going to leave you here...but I decided not to, am I the nicest person on earth or what. ]  
  
As soon as Sirius touched the banana, the door slammed shut by itself, metal bars came crashing down, trapping the four comrades into a cage, the blinding lights came on, a siren went off...it was chaos.  
  
"We got him!" Ashleigh yelled happily, jumping up and down.  
  
"Hey is that bird man Santa?" Megan asked sleepily pointing to Sirius, who had a bulging bag on his back.  
  
"No..." Andie answered. "He's not fat enough...what do you say we pour fat down his throat?" With that, she started laughing like a lunatic.  
  
"Ignore her..." Lily mumbled, "she just needs a little medical attention...so Potter and crew, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"  
  
"Came to pay a little visit to your dear friend Roxanne...speaking of which, where is she?" James glanced around curiously.  
  
"She doesn't sleep here anymore," Ashleigh replied, "We begged the Headmaster to relocate her."  
  
"So what's with the cage and everything?" Peter questioned.  
  
"Oh, we were trying to trap this mad monkey that kept stealing our socks..." Morgan answered.  
  
After hearing this, they all turned toward Sirius, who was whistling.  
  
"What?" Sirius said defensively, "So I have a strange fascination with socks...big deal."  
  
"Uh huh..." Remus said doubtfully. Turning toward the girls he said with a bright smile, "We promise that Sirius will return your socks [gave Sirius a look as he tried to protest], now with everything cleared, can you let us out now?" he finished with a lawyer tone.  
  
"How about no?" Ashleigh answered, "I quite like this situation. We could get to like...test spells on you and stuff."  
  
"Look here, if you don't--" Sirius began.  
  
"You know...I still like my pouring fat down your throat idea," Andie cut in.  
  
"And I'm starting to be fond that idea," Lily said.  
  
That shut him up.  
  
"Okay...you guys hate Roxanne as much as us, am I right?" James said in his reasonable voice.  
  
"Duh," Morgan replied.  
  
"So why don't we work together and give Hogwarts the best payback it's ever seen?" Peter said, catching on to James's idea.  
  
The girls shared looks and said as one, "We accept."  
  
"Great," Remus said, "now let us out of this monstrous trap, I can't stand being so close to Sirius anymore..."

  
  
A/N: i love my reviews...all my reviewers are soooooo awesome lol special thx for my wondyful beta reader, val [eyesofemerald] read her story itz reely good


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